So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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