It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
