...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
