we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
