so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
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Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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