if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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