I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
