I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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