the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
