Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
