I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
