Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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