belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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