The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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