I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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