he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
