i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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