fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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