did you get engaged???
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
