there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
