the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
