You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
