butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
