When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
