Girls should come with a carfax report
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
