i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
