Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
