Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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