i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize