Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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