There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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