not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
