just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
