One girl and one boy is just not enough.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
