Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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