Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
