Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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