First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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