I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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