drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
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