So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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