I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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