I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
