when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
