3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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