he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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