You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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