no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
