Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
