She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
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