I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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