he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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