I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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