Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
We're too hungover to prance.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
