i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
