But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
