Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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