she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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