i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
