That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize