dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
