i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
