I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
