I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
