so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
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i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
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Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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