So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
