Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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