He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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