Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I deserve this hangover.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
